dating dilemma

Was having a chat with my friend(K) yesterday. He's dating someone(Y) currently.

Y told K that he will not commit to this relationship yet prior to falling in love. Y want to know K thoroughly first, fall in love then only start a relationship. It's a different case with K. He doesn't mind getting into relationship first while still in the process of understanding Y because he believe love will come along the way.

This is the usual dilemma faced by people going for a date. They will keep hovering between these two options; play safe but a long game or take a gamble and throw all cards in with the hope that u might somehow win. Both choices comes with some drawback and a bit benefits IMO.

The 1st choice; understand, fall in love, relationship; is quite a majority pick. It allows people to know the inside-out of his future partner and check properly the compatibility between him and the future partner. With this, they would reduce the probability of breaking up along the way since u already make sure that he ticked all the criteria of the ideal partner that u want.

Here's the catch; people change. There is no stopping it. It might take a day, a week, a month, a year or even just hour but people will. If u get into relationship thinking u had your partner figured out, think again. It might spell your own downfall since some will have a hard time accepting the fact that their boyfriend is not what he used to be while they're dating. Plus, where is the thrill if nothing is left to be discovered? and how long is long enough for u to keep him hanging around waiting for u to say yes? He might get fed up of waiting for u and simply walk away just when u just gonna make up your mind.

The second option is truly a gamble. U have a decent knowledge of who your partner is after couple of dates and he might be the one that u been waiting for. Even if the feeling is there or not, u expect that he be compatible with u. U dare to get into relationship and hope that the spark/feeling/love will come along between the two of u. There's lot of unknown variable at play here. If it doesn't turn out well, u might blame yourself for rushing into a relationship without taking more time.

There're some gains from this gamble. U will be more acceptable of any change of him while in the relationship because u simply don't know whether what he exhibit is part of him or change that just happen. Don't forget the excitement of learning new things about him every day. It keeps the relationship fresh and enjoyable.

What's the better choice? I would say the balance between both. Don't rush into one without at least knowing a little about him but at the same time, don't prolong the date too long because we human has a very low level of patience.

Good luck to anyone who is in the middle of dating someone =D

Love,
me