Strike one, down

Any writer would wrap up their story and put an end to it, no matter how crappy they are. It's time to dry the ink and seal another part of my life here.

His first appearance in my life occurred on new year eve. I wrote about him few days after our first date(read here). I can still remembered our first kiss inside the car illuminated by firework; the feeling is all too vivid.

From that point on, he slowly became an integral part of my daily life. Constant meet-up, non-stop messaging from the moment we both woke up till our eye closed, trying new food, visiting places together, celebrating birthday; the fun never died when I'm with him.

He took care of me when I was terribly sick. Came over to bring some food and herbal tea; drop by again the next day just to give me 100plus cos I ran out of it; none of which I requested but he still did it. He was there when my sister passed away. He was there for every single thing that happened to me in past few months.

He was, in every single aspect, the perfect guy u can ever ask for

Then why I'm sealing this memory?

My feeling. By far, I dated him the longest; 8 months or so. Throughout this period, I can't bring my feeling further than just liking him. I know I didn't love him because I can't feel the same thing like when I was with J or monkey.

He loved me deeply but I can't reciprocate it. I hate myself because I can't love him. I hate myself because I have to dump him and made him cry again. The feeling sucked, big time.

I cried. I cried when I did that. It wasn't just tear coming out. It was a loud sob.

L, I can't be grateful enough for the time we spent together and things u did for me. There's no way I can ever repay back all ur kindness to the end of my life. I pray that u will find someone better than me, who will appreciate u and love u for what u worth.

What goes around, comes around. I won't be surprised when I get treated the same way in the future.

Till then, u will always have a special place in my memory L.

Love,
ur Bii