Met a guy last weekend and this topic came up post-sex at 2 in the morning(super tired at that time but still wanna keep talking with him xP)
This was brought up when we were discussing about open relationship/'eating out'. He said he's not okay with open relationship but he won't care if his future bf wanna 'eat outside' as long he didn't find out about it even if the bf has to lie to him about it. I obviously was against that idea and replied lying is wrong at any time at all. He rebuked by saying aren't we all a liar one way or another? We lied to our parent, our friend, our colleague about ourselves, about our sexual orientation. So what's the difference between us and the cheating bf then? We lied to our parent but that doesn't diminish our love to them one bit, right?
At that time, I was really at loss and didn't know what to reply anymore. He did have a point there. We always thought/been told that once we are in a relationship, trust and respect are two main pillars that will keep the relationship intact. Lying will only make thing worse and destroy any trust the other party has but we all aren't saint. Who are we to judge that his lie is wrong while the lie what we did is acceptable? This is such a gray area that I can't think of any suitable reply to him till now.
Alright, enough with the serious stuff. Let's have some laugh now =D hehe
So can u name the three bands in the video? hahaha
Love
Me
Yes, to determine if lying is bad or good is not a straight judgment because it falls into the grey area in certain circumstances. We may lie to protect someone's feelings or to protect one's life (like hiding someone in danger or you know where your friend is hiding but you won't reveal it to the gangster/ah long because you want to protect your friend's safety). So in this circumstances, is lying considered bad?
ReplyDeleteHow do we label lying then? Is it a sin? Is it bad in any circumstances?
There are very few acts in this world that are absolutely evil. It's all in the intention I suppose
DeleteBut when you get into a relationship with a guy you discuss your comfort zone and limits with each other. And if he has to lie to the bf and get his needs satisfied from others then what's the point of being in a relationship? Of course that is if monogamy is one of the things agreed upon in the beginning itself.
ReplyDeleteI mean, with parents, no matter what happens, even if they disown you for being gay they'll still be your parents regardless of whether you keep in touch or not.
This is something like saying ignorance is bliss. And karma is a bitch.
Because maybe for him, sex is just sex; no feeling attached to it. So he can go out have fun but still just love one guy only. Maybe..... =.=
DeleteI totally ignored the video.
ReplyDeleteAs for eating out behind our backs? Hmm, I would say having someone as intimate as sleeping beside your bed, is definitely different from somebody living under the same roof.
Really, lying about sexual orientation is one thing; lying about you eating out is another. Like, hello its like lying to your mom about stealing money and lying about you having HIV. If the person sleeping beside you sleeps with every Tom Dick and Harry out there without you knowing it, how would you know if he infect you with HIV? Until he gets it? It's a dormant virus and you know it.
As for getting sexual satisfaction; yes he might not be able to, but if that's the only thing pulling the whole relationship together, that might as well for not. Really. I have to digress on that.
3 months and no sex yet; but definitely looking for a longer relationship duration.
yeah I know but that's the thing now. Why one form of lying is considered 'acceptable' but the other is not? yeah, there's the risk of STI but who sau u cant get it from a monogamous relationship? there' nothing truly foolproof here, all depends on how u handle it
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